Day 27 – Tonglen

In order to have compassion for others, we must have compassion for ourselves. Specifically, to show empathy instead of aversion toward others who have negative traits such as anger, jealousy, arrogance, pride, etc., and to have compassion, and a caring attitude, we must develop the capacity to confront the pain of finding these negative traits in ourselves. By not hiding from our suffering, we find that our hearts open, and even though we feel our pains, we feel them differently. Our suffering becomes a way for us to soften and purify. We become more loving and kind.

Tonglen practice is a way to be one with suffering, whether it’s ours or the abundance of suffering in the world around us. By using this practice, we allow ourselves to overcome our fear of suffering. The heart softens, and we awaken to the inherent compassion that is in all of us. The literal translation of Tonglen is “sending and taking”. 

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow